Writer's Corner
Fall River Weather Report
by Sherry Chapman and Kat Koorey

  Writer's Corner

Humor
   I Love Lizzie
   You Know You're a Bordenite When
   Lizzie Jokes
   Fall River Weather Report
   Dear Abby

Fiction
   Welcome to My Room
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   Trevi Fountain
   Thursday's Child

Poetry
   Ballad of Lizzie Borden
   Ode to Fellow Bordenites
   Ladies and Gentlemen
   Lizzie Doggerels
   Mystery of Lizzie Borden

Interviews
   Len Rebello - Author
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   William Pavao - Curator
   Rick Geary - Artist/Author
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   Karen Poulsen - Playwright
   Marjorie Conn - Actress

Writer's Bios
   Kathleen Carbone
   Sherry and Marla Chapman
   Eugene Hosey
   Tina-Kate Rouse

I thought it would be interesting this summer to keep a little log of Fall River's temperatures and humidities.  The two times I visited there in different years, it was really hot there.  It seemed to be a town where the sun just beats down on it.  There are other towns by the water I've visited where every time I go there, it's like that.

The weather on the morning of the murders has always been of interest, because the temperature wasn't all that high yet everyone insists it was a horribly hot day.  Back then, temperatures were recorded but the humidity was not.  Writers used to keep passing it on that it was well over a hundred degrees that day, but no one bothered to check.  Until a few years ago in the LBQ the official weather report for that day was published, and it surprised all of us.  What'd it get up to - 83 at most?  So everyone said well, it had to have been the humidity - it must have been high.
 
I wonder if that is one of those little towns that's almost always just HOT.  So for those that are interested, here's a start on the summer weather reports for Fall River.

June 30, 2002

Tonight's weather report comes from Dr. Seabury Bowen.  Dr. Bowen?
"Thank you, Mrs. Chapman.  Today in Fall River I was busy having my boy drive me around making house calls.  I cannot recall if the sky was  blue.  A sort of a drab color, I should say.  When I reached home, I saw Mrs. Churchill outside and said, 'Addie, come see,' so she could help describe its color. But she turned pale and would not look.  Summer complaint, perhaps.  I should offer to give her sulphate of morphine in double doses, but I'm afraid that may alter her perception of the sky's color.  I finally had to talk through the telephone to New Bedford, where they informed me that at 9:53 this evening it was 66 degrees.  Oh, and cloudy.  The sky is cloudy.  I suppose that's why I could not see much color to it.  That is all I know."
Thank you, sir.  So for tonight in Fall River:
June 30, 2002
9:53 pm
Temperature:  66 degrees
Humidity:  90%  

July 1st weather, according to Bridget:

Q: How hot was it today, Maggie?  You don't mind me calling you Maggie, do you, it's just that you're Irish and shouldn't mind if we give you a made-up name, O.K., Maggie?
A:  What was the question?
Q:  How hot was it today, Maggie?
A:  I don't know.
Q:  Well, can you guess?  Don't tell me what anyone told you, just tell me what you would say as to how hot it was today?
A:  Well, I can't say.
Q:  Do you have any idea as to how hot it was today, or not, Maggie?
A: I didn't hear anything about it.
Q:  Well, Maggie, I don't want to know what was said to you, I want to know how hot it was?
A:  I don't know.
Q:  Did you perspire?
A:  Yes sir
Q:  So you were hot?
A:  I guess I was.
Q:  How else do you know it was hot?
-"OBJECTION!  LEADING THE WITNESS as to:  'THAT IT WAS HOT', WHEN WITNESS NEVER SAID IT WAS HOT!"
-"OVER RULED!  You may answer the question, Maggie."
A:  Well, I changed my dress.
Q:  You changed your dress ?
A:  Yes sir.
Q:  Why did you change your dress?
A:  Because it was damp.
Q:  Why was it damp?
A:  It was damp from throwing water up on the window.
Q:  It wasn't damp from the heat?
A:  No sir.
Q:  But it was hot enough to make you perspire and your dress got damp, and you changed it?
A:  Yes sir
Q:  So it was hot?
A:  I could not tell you.
As to July 1st weather, we will NEVER know, if we rely on Maggie.

It's just that Bridget gets nervous in the courtroom.  I happened to catch up with her this evening as she was waiting for a carriage downstairs.  She's more relaxed now, aren't you Miss Sullivan?

"Yes, at least I seem to be.  It's the weather you'd be wantin' is it?  This mornin I was layin on top of my bed and had not taken off any of my clothing.  I had not fallen asleep all night, thinkin of court today.  I saw the sun rise at 5:13 am.  I looked at the clock in my room is how I fixed the time.  After I went down to see about gettin' the Hunts' breakfast, I went out in their back yard to vomit, then I put on a more stylish - and cleaner - dress for the courthouse.  I was testifyin all day and didn't get to see much of what it was like outdoors, but we could all tell it was another hot and stifling day.  I tried to take a carriage back at 6 this evenin, but I was detained by Mr. Knowlton who kept showing me this piece of paper... So here now the sun went down about 8:26 and I'm still waitin for a ride back.  I heard a gentleman in the hallway further back say it's 75 degrees right now, but it feels like 77.  I wish I didn't have to come back tomorrow.  It's to be 90 or 95 and sticky again.  Oh, Pshaw! There's the carriage goin past again."
Thank you, Miss Sullivan.  And good luck with the next carriage.
So for today, July 1 at 9:30 pm at Fall River we have
Fair skies
Temperature 75 degrees, but feels like 77
Humidity 76%
Record High for this date available was 100 degrees in 1993.
Record Low for July 1 available was 40 degrees in 1973.
And tomorrow does look to be a very hot and humid one.

July 2, 2002

Whew!  Another hot one in Fall River tonight, just like Bridget predicted.  I have Mr. John Morse with me in front of the post office (don't worry - I bought him a fake nose and glasses so there wouldn't be any trouble).  Mr. Morse, we're ready for your report on the city's weather now.

"At exactly 7:53 tonight - I fixed the time by looking at my pocket watch - it was exactly 85 degrees out.  I have proof of this by my telephone call placed to New Bedford, which is where we get our weather readings, placed at 7:52.  I'm sure they have a log of my telephone call if you asked them. Unfortunately I did not see the uniform number on the weatherman's cap because this was done through the telephone after all.  I hear people on the street saying it feels like 92 degrees.  The wind is coming from (wets finger and holds it up) the southwest!  And even though it is at 8 miles per hour, I still contend that it could have blown open the locked cellar door at my brother-in-law's place last August.  Sunrise came this morning at 5:15 am, which was no bother to me since I am always up early - usually the first one up.  And while you were getting your things set up, I took note that the sunset came at 8:23 this evening.  It's sure to be a hot night.  No rain in sight either.  I was rather hoping for some rain to clean my suit. I've been wearing it for quite some time, but one more week should not matter. I see people looking at me on the street frequently, so I assume I must still look quite the dapper fellow."
Thank you, Mr. Morse.  No, you'd better keep that nose & glasses on.  You still need to walk home.
So for tonight in Fall River we have:
Fair skies.
Temperature 85 degrees at 7:53 pm - feels like 92.
Humidity is at 72%.   Wind from the southwest at 8 mph.
Sunrise was at 5:15 am; Sunset at 8:23 pm.
Record high for this day available was 94 degrees in 1955.
Record low for this day available was 42 degrees in 1978.
A very humid night is in store for Fall River tonight.  Here are the projected readings thru the night:
11 pm:  75 degrees; 86% humidity.
1 am:   90% humidity
4 am:   92% humidity
8 am:   82% humidity   I hope Uncle John doesn't sleep in that suit as well. 

July 3, 2002

Wow, it's a scorcher here in Fall River this morning.  I don't know how everyone can stand to wear all those clothes!  I'm getting some looks from the tank top I have on, but I don't care.  Besides, the town's tongues have more important things to wag about.  Today's weather is brought to you by Mr. Eli Bence.  Are you ready, sir?

"Yes.  I was in the back tending to some things.  A sign, really, is what I made.  "No Prescription - No Prussic".  That should take care of any further unpleasantness in the future.  First they want me to testify, then they don't.  There goes my book deal with George Buffinton.  Well, it is hot here out on the sidewalk - 89 degrees to be exact, and it feels like 96.  The skies are fair, and there's a slight wind, very slight, I would judge about 5 miles per hour. The ladies' skirts are hardly blowing - not that I pay attention to womens' attire.  I would just notice it if they were.  The sun rose today at 5:15 am.  I heard Alice Buck talking outdoors at that hour.  I'm positive it was her.  In Marion?  Can't be.  Harte and Kilroy were breakfasting with me and they heard her too. Good day to stay indoors.  The heat index is likely to reach 105 this afternoon.  Let's hope we get that predicted thunderstorm tomorrow."
Thank you, Mr. Bence. 
So today in Fall River at 10:53 am we have:
89 degrees; feels like 96.
Humidity: 57%
The wind is variable at 5 mph.  A heat index of 105 is possible.  High today near 95. 
Tonight partly cloudy.  Low about 72 degrees. 
Sunrise was at 5:15 am.  Sun sets at 8:22 tonight.
Isolated thunderstorms are in the forecast for tomorrow. 
Watering need is very high today.
Records for July 3 available:  High 95 degrees in 1949.
Record low available for today:  43 degrees in 1957. 

July 4, 2002

It's tough to find someone to help us with the weather report today, it being a holiday and all.  Is it ---- yes, it is Lizzie Borden herself coming up the sidewalk. I---I thought you were, um ---

"In jail? Oh, horse feathers.  I'm allowed a walk daily.  They didn't say it had to be on the jail grounds.  I assume you need the weather done.  I can do it just as well now as any other time.  Though some in this town refer to me as the 'sphinx of coldness', I am sweltering this evening.  Right now it's 96 degrees.  Since our average is 81, it's a bit high for a high.  In these skirts it feels like 101.  The wind coming from the west/southwest at 13 miles per hour does help some.  Still, my trusty little Japanese fan comes in handy.  The sun rose thru my cell window at 5:16 this morning.  I look forward to it, as I am not even allowed a lamp from which to read by.  When the sun goes down at night, which will be at 8:22 tonight, I must make my own amusement.  Last night I thought of a poem and told it to some little girls who were looking up at my window.  Already this morning I heard children skipping rope to it.  It's a catchy little thing.  Who knows?  Maybe some day I'll be trying my hand at a play.  I really must go. I hope you'll tell no one you've seen me.  Please don't give me away."
Thank you, Miss Borden.  And to think I almost didn't axe her to do this.  So at 6:30 this evening in Fall River it's
96 degrees - feels like 101
Humidity is at 37%
Record high for July 4th available was 96 degrees in 1955
Record low was 42 degrees in 1892 - I mean 1982
Tomorrow should be cooler with a high of 84, winds n/w at 10-15- mph.
Scattered thunderstorms during the evening tonight; 40% chance of rain.

July 5, 2002

We are indeed honored today to have as our guest weather reporter ex-Governor George Robinson.  Mr. Robinson served as Governor from 1883-1886.  He appointed Justice Dewey to the Superior Court in '86, but everyone is quite sure it will not influence Justice Dewey in the least with the work he has to do.*  Counselor?

(Clears throat and speaks loudly) "Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you as a simple man.  Not a weatherman.  Weathermen are human, made out of men, and nothing else.  I hold no interest in predictions.  It is not my business to unravel the mystery of the gulf stream or the trade winds.  I am not here to find out WHO makes the weather.  I am simply and solely here to say "What is the weather today?"  That is all.  Not WHO does it.  Not HOW is it done.  But what it is NOW.  That is all that can be proven.  So for today I submit to you that we are under fair skies with a temperature of 83 degrees as of 11:53 this morning.  The wind is coming from the northwest at 15-22 miles per hour.  I could say that I slept through the sunrise this morning and was told it occurred at 5:16 am, but that would be hearsay.  The sun set at 8:22 pm last night, and unless something goes askew in our enormous and wondrous galaxy system it will set again tonight at the same time.  If I give you predictions of the weather to come that may not happen, that no one can offer any real proof of, that would have just as much a chance as being wrong as right, you would believe me to be a fiend!  I ask you:  Do I look it?"
Thank you, Sir.  (No, I did not agree to pay you $25,000 for this. That must be another client.) 
So today in Fall River we have plenty of sunshine with a temperature of 83 degrees; humidity is at 42%.  Tonight will be mostly clear with a low of 62.  The record high available for July 5 is 96 degrees in 1955; the record low 42 degrees in 1982. 
* The law firm still exists today. 

July 7, 2002

Emma was approached about the weather in Fall River yesterday, July 6th.
We had to send her a letter but it was returned.
We sent her a telegram and she came in person to answer!
It turns out all she knew, she had been told..
She heard from Morse, their dear uncle, I mean HER dear uncle that it had been hot, but she didn't know for how long.
Emma said a friend came to tell her the weather was better out of town.
She had also heard rumors that it was humid, so she discussed it with her sister.
They decided if it was to continue hot, they would stay in bed later into the morning, just as it happened.
They would lock all the doors and hire a detective to find the weather and a lawyer to interpret it for them.
And if got really really hot they would move.

July 7, 2002

Today's weather report is sponsored by Baker's non-poisonous bread.  Thru Tuesday on sale at five cents a loaf.  They say, "Don't come here for rolls.  We don't have any left."
Our guest weather person this evening is Thomas Barlow. Mr. Barlow?
"Uh, yeah.  Oh, me?  Uh, okay.  Uh, it's kinda cloudy out heah.  Murky like.  Oh, yeah.  In weathah terms it'd be called hazy.  There's hahdly any wind blowin'.  It's like at 3 miles per owah, comin' outta the south/southwest.  Me and Brownie were climbin' up in a bahn this aftahnoon.  I dunno.  We just like to do it.  We climb up and climb back down.  Just somethin' to do, ya know?  But today some policeman put us out of the yahd.  It was coolah up in that bahn, tho, than outside today.  I gotta get a move-on heah.  Sun sets at 8:21 and I gotta get to the pool hall by then.  Uh, thanks for havin' me.  Brownie?  No, he ain't got nuttin' to say."
Thank you, Mr. Barlow, and, uh, "Brownie".  So tonight in Fall River we have a temperature of 72 degrees as of 6:53.  Humidity is at 71%, and will be climbing up to 82% by 3 am.  Tonight we look for mostly clear skies and a low of about 64 degrees.  The record high for July 7 available was 97 degrees in 1981; the record low 45 degrees in 1972.  The sun rises tomorrow at 5:18 am. 

July 11, 2002

Today's weather report is sponsored by Sergeant's Dry Goods.  There's to be a sale this week of cheap dress goods, eight cents a yard.  We are fortunate indeed today to have as our guest reporter that affluent, self-made businessman, Andrew Jackson Borden of Second Street.  Mr. Borden, are we ready?

"Been ready, and I think you know it.  Waste time, waste money.  A man cannot sit 'round and do muttin'. Now let's get on with it, shall we?  Today in Fall River at 7:53 tonight it was 69 degrees.  Hm, that's my age, you know.  Some people think I'm already 70.  Not yet - I'm fit as a fiddle.  I think any autopsy would prove that.  I'll not have Dr. Bowen coming over Dr. Handy style expecting payment for calls I don't make.  Garfield tea is all I need - no need for any of those fancy, costly medicines.  And fresh air, plenty of it.  Today was a good day to get some.  Not so sticky out today, and there's a wind coming from the northwest at about 7 miles per hour.  A good night for sitting in the parlor in the dahk. There is to be a full moon tonight - look, it's out already.  I don't especially like these nights with a full moon.  A glaze seems to come over my daughter Lizzie's eyes. I wanted to summer in Swansea, but there is something in the wind, besides the smoke from the mills.  The sun set an hour ago.  I'd best be getting on upstreet."
Thank you, Mr. Borden.  I know how valuable your time is. 
So for tonight in Fall River we have a temperature of a pleasant 69 degrees at 7:53 pm, humidity at 45%.  Tonight we'll have clear skies with a low of 54.  The record high available for July 11 was 100 degrees in 1993; record low 46 degrees in 1986.  The sun will rise tomorrow morning at 5:21 am, when the humidity will be at 81%.  But that will drop to about 46% by noon.  We're looking toward a very pleasant Friday here tomorrow. 

July 31, 2002

It's a hot one here in Fall River tonight.  We have with us this evening as our guest weatherman photographer James A. Walsh of this city.  Mr. Walsh?

Hm.  What kind of camera is that they're using?  I've never seen one of those before.
- (whispering off camera) It's a camcorder.  We'll let you see it later. -
All right.  Well, yes, it is hot in town tonight.  Um ... uh ... you'll have to excuse me.  I'm used to being on the other side of the camera.  It's exactly 87 degrees as we stand here now, but it feels like 91.  The sky is partly cloudy.  What?  Oh, I can move my lips??  Really??? And my whole head?  Surely you jest.  What about this? (waves hands)  The devil you say!  (takes pleasure in moving about as he continues) The wind this evening is of little help, coming from the southeast at 8 miles per hour.  So I'll have to stir up some of my own! (whirls arms like windmill) This I have got to see ... Normally this time of year we average a high of 82 degrees and a low of 60.  No rain in sight until maybe Friday, and that is a big maybe.  The sun rose this morning at 5:38 am - I remembah that because I had to take all my photo equipment inside.  Business hasn't been so good lately and I've been using my back porch for a dahkroom.  I've been taking street scene shots just to keep busy.  The sun will be setting tonight at 8:04, in just about an hour.  With mostly clear skies I should be able to turn out a bit of photographs.  Perhaps I will turn them into postcards.  If I don't get something coming in soon, I'll be evicted.  Can I see it now?  Can I? Can I?
Thank you, Mr. Walsh.  Just a minute, sir.  As soon as we're done.  Mr. Walsh, you have your hand on the lens.  If you could just step back one moment, sir.  And if I were you, I wouldn't worry.  I have a feeling you'll be getting some business in just a few days.
Right now we're at 53% humidity.  Water those gardens!  They are in need.  Records available for this day were a high of 95 in 1988 and a low of 47 in 1956.  No, no, Mr. Walsh.  Don't touch that button-  

August 3, 2002

Tonight's weather report is sponsored by the WCTU - who want to get their message out to all of Fall River to drink only medicinally and for communion.  They recommend clear spring water, sanitized city water, coffee, tea or that popular drink Coca Cola.  Thanks, gals.

And tonight we have as our guest weatherperson Miss Alice Russell.  Miss Russell?

Hm?  Oh, yes.  The weather.  Well, right now it is 80 degrees out and feels more like 83.  And ... um ... oh, I'm sorry that I am distracted.  I have had a visit from my friend, whose name I will not mention.  All right, it was the Borden girl, Lizzie.  But I will not divulge her conversation.  Oh, all right, she was talking to me of people coming after her father and household, enemies of her father who is a highly respected and well-to-do-businessman.  She thought they might be poisoned and fears the house will be burned over their heads.  But that is all I must say.  Oh, all right, she told me about a robbery in the house earlier when people were home and in broad daylight.  How they took her stepmother's things but no one else's.  Really, I must not say more.  I am a trusted friend and intend to maintain that trust. Oh all right, she said she has seen someone lurking about the place on two occasions at night.  Personally, I think she is full of cookies.  She has quite an imagination, that girl.  Why she chose to burden me with these outrageous stories I haven't any idea, but she has a friend in me - a friend who retains confidences.  Why just last week when I saw her upstairs in their guest room, she came in and said -"
Miss Russell, I'm afraid your weather time has run out.  I had no idea you were so upset this evening.  If I had, I certainly wouldn't have bothered you.  Thank you for your time.
"Yes.  Yes.  I - I must hurry downstreet to pick up some sewing thread before the stores close.  And speaking of the notions store, you should hear what I heard about the owner's wife.  I'm not one to carry tales, far be it for me to do so, but you know they caught her with her hand in -"
Yes, you'd better run along, Miss Russell.  It's nearing 9:30.  All right, dear.  Yes, I'll be fine.  Well, Miss Russell was a bit rattled tonight.  Oh, well.  A hundred years from now no one will remember this weather report or Miss Russell.  SO tonight as Miss Russell told us it is 80 degrees, humidity is at 67%, and the wind is coming from the s/se at a mere 3 mph.  Sunrise today was at 5:38 am and the sun set tonight here at 8:04 pm.  Records available for this date were 95 degrees in 1988 and 47 degrees in 1956.  Tomorrow calls for it to be hot and muggy.  I'd get my business done in the morning and be back home by noon.  Tomorrow's weather report will be given at Rocky Point, where the policemen are holding their annual clambake.  Now that should be pretty exciting!