"Discretion"--poem about Lizbeth/Lizzie

[Denise_Noe]

Can't I get anyone to comment on my little poem about the aftermath of Victorian America's preeminent murder mystery?

I recite it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_fNZKft8FM

[twinsrwe]

Well, after watching your video, several times, I am left feeling as though I have been cast into a dark endless void. (I was left feeling the same way after I viewed your video in November, and I didn't submit a comment at that time because I was at a loss for words!)

“Lizbeth Borden’s friends never inquired about lizzie's axe/acts.” Am I missing something here?

I’m sorry, but I was expecting a real “poem”, not just a one line sentence.

I apologize if my comment offends you, but I have to be honest.

[patsy]

Not sure what to think but now the words axe and acts are constantly booming in my head.

[twinsrwe]

Sorry, Patsy.

[Denise_Noe]

"Discretion" is a very brief poem, almost a haiku. I'm not offended by your comment as I expect honesty.

[twinsrwe]

I get that you feel your "Discretion" video is a very brief poem; I am just disappointed in it, is all.

I'm glad you are not offended by my comment.

Out of curiosity, I would like to know if the line you are saying in your video is:

“Lizbeth Borden’s friends never inquired about lizzie's axe.”

or

“Lizbeth Borden’s friends never inquired about lizzie's acts.”

[Denise_Noe]

axe

[twinsrwe]

Okay, thanks Denise!

[mbhenty]

I know what you are saying… “oh no not him. Here we go”

And you may be right there.

Poetry is a very intuitive and subjective medium, like art, good wine, or a fine cuisine. Ultimately it is all in the eye of the aficionado or consumer—what they find valuable or pleasurable—feeding into abstract tastes and personal if not bias opinions; all sentiments which play a vital mission in what is exceptional or regarded as plain or common, what is of value or inferior, what is gibberish and what is poetry.

Today in the world of poetry such responsibility is left to the masses. Eccentrics or literary mavericks who dictate to the rest of us what is cultured and what is tawdry. Like Picasso or Miro dictating to us what is art.

As poetry editor of the Literary Hatchet I am arbitrator and appraiser. A responsibility which haunts and burden’s me to get it right when there is no right nor wrong. Subjective, remember? So I must balance what the literary community sees as art and what I find virtuous. I tightrope which can swing to extremes and may depend on many circumstances, including the temperament of the poet, subject matter, and approach, to say little about the technics behind the piece, including rhyme, meter, intonation, and other unlimited variables and guidelines which make a poem a poem.

All this being said, I must confess to some preconceptions, and by today’s standards, prejudice to what I consider poetry.

Now as for the poem cited here on the forum.

I reject all one line poems and very few three to four line poems make it to the pages of the Hatchet. Literary license, you see. Like going to BJ’s and taste testing one of the eatables offered for free at the end of an isle. May be tasty but it is not a meal.

One line poem may get one's attention but it’s not a poem.

[Denise_Noe]

I respect your opinion. I certainly respect "The Literary Hatchet" since I've been published in that venue. My poem is actually more than one line but it is definitely brief.

[twinsrwe]

... My poem is actually more than one line but it is definitely brief.

How is “Lizbeth Borden’s friends never inquired about lizzie's axe”, more than one line?

[mbhenty]

As Travis Bickle would have inquired in Taxi Driver..."You talking to me."

Let's look at this:

The average line is said to have between 15 to 20 words. The average word is made up of four or five character—or letters.

If we count the characters (letters) in the poem, including punctuation and spaces between words, we come up with 14 words. One word short of a complete line.

So technically it does not compromise a line. That is to say, a grouping of words that would make up one line on the average written word document or page.

[mbhenty]

Not to proclaim that in the literary world a one line poem is not a poem. If there are five people in a room and they all read a one line poem and four out of five declare it a poem... well I suppose it is. At least to them. Not to me. But I am but one critic. If you feel that my poetic partisanship has no merit, then you may be right. Especially if you get the vote of those four out of five.

Now, the one line poem is very accepted in the literary world.

One fellow that comes to mind is Joe Brainard. (1942 - 1948) He was an artist. His New York School art was very similar to Andy Warhol. Art which made a statement and spoke more to the heart and mind than the eye. Which begs me to ask: Is a collage of Campbell soup cans art?

In that respect it is more about the artist than the art. If we can call a can of Campbell soup art.

Now Joe Brainard was also a writer. Probably best know for his poetry. Many which were one line poems.

So the author of Discretion should stand tall upon her ability to write a one line poem and not take what I think to seriously. Out of all my writings I have only written two books of poetry. Most of it very juvenile. But in my writing of fiction you may discover many one line poems. Inserted into the story and meant to have a poetic timbre or resonance, but interpose into a paragraph or as a crutch to the rest of the text.

To conclude, Denise Noe's one line poem, as it is read on Youtube, is an elegant recital and I encourage her to continue writing them.

[twinsrwe]

Thanks for the explanation, MB.

I'm not a poet, and I admit I know next to nothing when it comes to writing poems. I just know that one liners are not a poem in my little corner of the world. Sorry, Denise. I think if one liners are a poem in your world, then you should continue to write them.

[Denise_Noe]

On paper, my poem reads:
Lizbeth Borden's friends
never
inquired
about
Lizzie's axe

[mbhenty]

As a stanza within a poem I suppose you can declare that there are five lines in that stanza.

The problem with such short poems is that it is difficult to convey emotion, provoke curiosity, satisfy a thought or conclusion. Like being unaware you are driving down a dead end street until there is no more road left. One feels cheated.

The shorter the poem the more difficult the job of quenching the reader's literary thirst. Monostich style poems are difficult to write and make work. More than not it always leaves the reader wanting more. (Or perhaps happy that it's over.)

Ultimately, short poems are stingy and word pinching.

That being said, one line poems do exist and are real in the literary world of poets. That is why I do not discourage someone from writing them.

It's just that to me a one line poem is a car without wheels. Takes me nowhere.