Well, let’s see…where to begin? Oh yes! I’d like to thank the Academy for conferring this great …errr – whoops, no wait, strike that! Dashitall, this is what happens when you take your suits to a dry-cleaning establishment what used to be the primate house at the local zoo! (Oh sure, you laugh now – but the chimpanzee who works the front counter can actually make correct change!) That’s what I’ll do! I’ll complain to the ASPC...ummmm, no that won’t do either I suppose. So I guess I’ll just say thank you to everyone for your most thoughtful birthday wishes!
What the…? Hey, you there – stop!!

Oh good grief. Officer…I’d like to rep... ummm…well, I seem to have been the victim of a miscreant. Well, yes, he took something not two minutes ago. What was it? Well, it was a….a Rolls Royce model of a…a tricycle.
Noooooo sir, Officer I
have not been drinking
anything! That fruity scent is from one of those fancy flavors of Listerine. You know the…? Ayup, that’s the stuff.
Well, it really shouldn’t be too hard to
find I wouldn’t think. Just put out an APB for a Rolls Royce model tricycle, last seen headed up that way there. A description of the thief? Well, it was an..errr…an elephant, Sir.

No, I’m
not hallucinating Officer. As I said – well, you’ll see what I mean when you find the tricycle. How hard can it be? How many elephants do
you see in a week riding Rolls Royce model tricycles? See what I mean? They’d kinda stick out, wouldn’t they?

I staid the night for shelter at a farm behind the mountains, with a mother and son - two "old-believers." They did all the talking...
- Robert Frost