If you live in a mobile home you're playing Russian-roulette with a tornado
If it rains too long and hard, your tree will fall down
If it's too dry for too long your tree will fall down
If you don't have any trees, your neighbor's tree will fall down- on
your roof!
If you spend one whole day outside you will eventually witness the drama of how the entire food chain works
(the rat in the vine, the snake eats the rat, the egret eats the snake)!
If you see a cat outside in your neighborhood, it has either just been pregnant, is pregnant, or about to be pregnant
If you live anywhere near a private airport you will eventually see broken cartons on the ground spilling out suspicious white powder
If you accidentally swallow a mosquito during encephalitis season and call "ask-a-nurse" they will probably advise you that your stomach acid will neutralize any threat
If you watch a lizard doing push-ups long enough you will go crazy trying to figure out why
If you have an important appointment in the morning your power will go out sometime during the night
If you want to park at least as close as a quarter mile from where you're trying to go, and there's an empty space, it's marked "handicapped"
If you live near a lake and lose your cat, the alligator got him
If you think you've got a bug on you- you probably do
If you leave your car window down it will rain
If you are standing under a tree in a lightning storm, you'll get hit by lightning
If you are standing on a golf course you'll get hit by lightning
If you're standing in your garage you'll get hit by lightning
If you're standing in your
kitchen you'll get hit by lightning
--There's more. I wrote these many years ago. TK reminded me... Watch this space...
