Lizzie Borden Society Forum

It used to be that almost every day I'd do something - well, dumb. I am glad that I am able to laugh at myself - otherwise I probably would have hung myself a long time ago. Still, every once in a while I'll still do something reminiscent of Lucy Ricardo. Such as

The other day. I pre-ordered a copy of 'Parallel Lives'. I wrote a check in the amount of the book, plus postage. I tacked on 15 cents more, instead of 15 dollars ...

You've got some 'splainin' to do.........

I dunno. I guess I usually have about ten things on my mind at once.

This morning I had the envelope with the rest of the postage in it on my kitchen counter. I was going out, so I thought I'd put it in my mail box. I had to drop it before I did, making the envelope bent and unkempt. "That's okay," I told my husband. "When they get it, Dennis and Michael will see who it's from and understand ..."

When I was 12, a tornado came. It wasn't on our street or endangering us, but we could see it as it travelled to Lake Erie. People in my family said, "Hey, somebody should call the police and let them know." "Yes! Somebody should!" Nobody would do it but me, and I was the very youngest of our tribe of 7.

Back then there was no 911, and I had to look up the number for the police station. Meanwhile I was getting nervous. I never called the cops before. But it'd be all right. I would be polite and, above all, calm.

It was picked up on the first ring. "^&*^&*^#$(*@!" (The guy gave his name and I don't remember what it was.) "Hello?" I said. "I'd like to pornote a ritardo!"

HA HA HA! The guy goes, 'WHAT??" I almost hung up in shame. I said that I meant I'd like to report a tornado. He laughed and said somebody already reported it. Geez. All that for nothing.

My family would drag it out every other year for laughs. Okay. Your turn.