Lizzie Borden Society Forum

You be the Jury....

In our litigious society, I am thinking of filing my own nuisance lawsuit against Kat--- But I want to make sure I have a shot at collecting.

I will sue her for $78.95.

I am trying to recover the money needed to pay a speeding ticket which she is indirectly responsible for...

Imagine the horror, if you can..

I have driven into town to pick up a pizza for Sunday lunch. I am in my car with the pizza beside me, driving in a 35mph zone listening to the local classic rock station. I am smiling and waving at people and having a wonderful time...

Suddenly, without warning the radio begins to play Bob Seger's "Katmandu" which I have heard probably dozens, if not hundreds of times before in my life. For some reason today I associate the song with "Kat Mon Dieu" instead of "Katmandu" and begin to make up odd lyrics to make saying "Kat Mon Dieu" an appropriate thing to say..

Mainly, I sung about her saying and doing scandalous things, which we all know she is capable of...

Obviously, while doing this I accidentally and unintentionally sped my car up to 48mph in the same 35mph zone.


Soon I see "flashing red lights" in my rear view and I pull over, confident in my oft repeated bold statement "There isn't a badge I can't enchant".

This has been true, until today. Obviously my charms do not affect rather big boned female state troopers with 80's hair-do's and white lipstick...

It is my contention that Kat owes me the money for this ticket... If you all think I have a chance I will take her on Judge Judy for the money...

You decide...

I think you owe Kat $78.95 for the right to use her name in your song.

Well Mr Christopher.....

I expected your support....


hmmmmmm.

Did you vote in your own poll, Audrey!!?

I have been called Katmandu for a while!

Also, don't you know Pizza is delivered? The nice young person who brings you pizza to your house could have been hit with that ticket, rather than you.

That's not a very 'spensive ticket- you must have been more enchanting than you thought.

Those peasants at the pizza parlor do not deliver to "rural" areas... We live 10 minutes outside of town...

Of course I voted.....

You just wait-- the tides will turn...

Hah!

You think just because you're a young, French, charming enchantress. . .

um, wait. . .

Can I change my vote?

FairhavenGuy @ Sun Feb 27, 2005 8:08 pm wrote: Can I change my vote?

Mais Oui....

Of course you can!

Come into my parlor......

NO CHRIS ! DON'T GO ! IT'S A TRAP !!!


Tracy...

Lessee here...from the known facts as stated, we may surmize the following:

1. That Auds was driving the car at the time of the citation.

2. That the aforementioned Auds, at time of offense for which the citation was issued, was by her own account enthralled to the heights of Olympus by the strains and lyrical intonations of an artist crooning a song which may for purposes of the present proceeding be known as or otherwise termed "Katmandu."

3. That at the aforementioned moment of enthrallment under the strains and lyrical intonations of said singer of a song which may for purposes of the present proceeding be known as or otherwise termed "Katmandu" the said Auds was driven to such heights of ecstasy by the said song which may for purposes of the present proceeding be known as or otherwise termed "Katmandu"; and that she did in all likelihood suffer some podiatric spasm, the result of which caused the aforementioned Auds to tromp down joyously upon the accellerator pedal of said vehicle of which she was in control at the time.

Taking all these factors into account, reason must dictate as follows:

a. That the party herein named as defendant sometimes known as "Kat" but who by her own testimony if ever she was known as or otherwise called "Katmandu" has not been so for a number of years - that said defendant is by judgement of the magistrate liable - and there remains serious question whether she is liable at all - for not more than one third of the amount previously claimed by Plaintiff, the sum total of liability being by regular accounting methods neither less than nor more than $26.32 USD.

b. That at the aforementioned moment the said Auds was driven to such heights of ecstasy by the said song which may for purposes of the present proceeding be known as or otherwise termed "Katmandu" and who did in all likelihood suffer some podiatric spasm, the result of which caused the aforementioned Auds to tromp down joyously upon the accellerator pedal of said vehicle of which she was in control at the time, is herself liable for 2/3rds of the aforementioned total of said fine as previously mentioned; the sum total of Plaintiff's liability shall be calculated as not more nor less than $52.63 USD.

This judgement shall be in force for fourteen days. If at the expiration of said term the fine is not paid in total at the clerk's office, it shall become effectively null and void, and a warrant shall be issued directing the sheriff of the county in which the aforementioned Auds resides to take her into immediate custody upon a charge of attempted frivolity and aggravated felony hogwashing. She shall await trial lodged in the county jail for a term of not more nor less than fourteen days. During her term of residence she will be strictly clad in the following:

1. One regulation jumpsuit of standard color (neon Orange.)
2. Such other underings which are appropriately allowed to female inmates of said county facility in which she shall reside.
3. One pair white "Marsha Brady" shoes.

This magistrate's court is hereby adjourned. Plaintiff is welcome to appeal to Judge Sheindlin for relief. Best of luck - you just may need it!:lol:

I guess this means it's too late for me to vote /


Tracy...

It is NEVER to late to vote...

I choose not to recognize that order.

Kat owes the $ !!!

I really expected more supoprt than this---hmmm

That was good Doug! Audrey and Kat on Judge Judy I can just picture it: "Miss A wipe that lipstick off"...."Miss K get that hair out of your face"....

And that's only if they catch Judy on a good day!

Just for that- I'm voting in this frivolous lawsuit! So There!
I think Bob Seeger should be cited if I am cited.

And only Harry calls me Katmandu- and only in the past 2 years.
And "Never Mind What Harry Does."

Kat: Are you going to call Governor Robinson in to defend you from these charges??

Did you vote, Stuart?

Nancie,

HOW shall they do their hair and make-up in order to please THE Judge ? Think we will be called as witnesses ?


Tracy...

No, I haven't voted. I could not bring myself to choose between two such distinguished forum members! (Plus, if I vote the wrong way, there could be a hatchet out there with my name on it!)

I KNEW Harry was entirely cool... Katmandu. Leave it to him...

I see Audrey got three more votes. Did the triplets get signed up as members in the last 24 hours?

There is not been any cheating Chris...

These wise people know that Deadbeat Koorey owes me the money and they want to help me collect!

As per Judge Judy... She has the most God-awful lipstick herself... Who ever told her that red was her shade? I would sneak back into her chambers and give her a makeover before the show to try and sway her in my direction.... Maybe an antique French lace fichu would help.... I can have my mother search the attic...

**mental note-- call mama

How long will the jury be out on this ?


Tracy...

Jeesh! I will pay 1/2 the fine if you retract the "deadbeat" part.
And BTW: Doesn't it take longer than 2 days to become a deadbeat?

Deadbeat?? Hmm... is that a skunk or grounds for a libel suit I smell?? Cha-$$$-Ching!!

I want Doug-Oh for my lawyer. He's negotiating 1/3 settlement and a libel suit.

Fiddlesticks...

He is no match for Chris....

If he makes too much trouble... Chris will fire a musket at him.

Ready. . . aim. . .