Ladies, you will NOT like this post

Harry · Post by **Harry** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 5:37 pm

How you should treat your husband.

An actual article from Housekeeping Monthly May 13, 1955

a.. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

b.. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be
fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

c.. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may
need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

d.. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the
house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

e.. During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his
comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

f.. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the
washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

g.. Be happy to see him.

h.. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

i.. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his
topics of conversation are more important than yours.

j.. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

k.. Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night.
Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

l.. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

m.. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low,
soothing and pleasant voice.

n.. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or
integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always
exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to
question him.

o.. A good wife always knows her place.

As for me I'm leaving town before you can get to your hatchets.

doug65oh · Post by **doug65oh** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 5:58 pm

Didn't Leave It To Beaver start airing within a year or two of that article?? It sure reminds me alot of June Cleaver!:lol:

Pippi · Post by **Pippi** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 6:35 pm

The guidelines were "touched up" and republished in many wives books and housekeeping magazines through the 50's so yeah, it should sound familiar ;)

No speaking of ill topics within the first 1/2hr and bring him a beer good wife!

Mark A. · Post by **Mark A.** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 7:41 pm

Harry, now I know what the old-timers mean by the good old days. I want to go back to 1955!

Susan · Post by **Susan** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 8:22 pm

I've read this before and it still makes me laugh! Thanks for the chuckle, Harry. It makes me wonder how many women really led their lives along these lines that they needed to put this in a magazine? And how many women that fell short of the mark and felt inadequate for it?

It made me wonder too if while Andrew was still in his working years, did Abby primp a little before he got home? Pinched her cheeks so they would be rosy, fix her hair, change into a nice dress, make Lizzie and Emma get all dolled up? That article sounded downright Victorian.

Pippi · Post by **Pippi** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 8:43 pm

Susan-I don't know about others in the forum but my grandmother lived very closely to those guide lines in her "perfect 50's family", fall short, of course people will that list is near impossible. There are days I would love to be a fly in my grandmother's head...

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 10:45 pm

I do all those things for ME: So I have practice!
I bet some of you fortunate enough to have pets and no man, do the same for them!

theebmonique · Post by **theebmonique** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:06 pm

AMEN KAT !!!

(FYI...from what I hear, women from France sign the French version of this article as a part of their marraige vows.)

Tracy...

Harry · Post by **Harry** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:44 pm

I think they forgot one.

p.. Move to the town of Stepford

Audrey · Post by **Audrey** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:58 pm

Mon Dieu!

I have an updated version...

1)- Have the credit card ready when calling for dinner to be delivered. This will cut down on the time you spend on the phone and allow you to get back to what you were doing before you started "fixing" dinner.

2)- Take a 3 and 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon before your husband and children arrive home from work or school. This will ensure you are well rested and able to press the "pizza" button on the speed dial without clumsily breaking a perfectly manicured nail due to fatigue.

3)- Never be even a little gay-- it is his fantasy-- Not yours!

4)- Keep the house clear of clutter by selling his golf clubs, cd's and other personal belongings on Ebay so that you can use the money on all day trips to the day spa including a massage and exfoliation.

5)- During the cooler months-- charter a plane to take you to an island in the Caribbean. Here, scantily clad native men will serve you all the alcohol your heart desires...

6)- Minimize the noise one might hear from a vacuum or washing machine when he is around by either refusing to operate these appliances or by instructing the maid to do these chores while you are at the aforementioned day spa.

7)- Be happy to see him.... (why not? It really isn't that hard to put a fake smile on and act interested-- we do it all the time with his mother)

8)- Greet him with a smile and show him your sincere desire to please him-- after he has pleased you, twice.

9)- Listen to him! While he is yammering on you can always smile, nod and think about yourself.

10)- NEVER greet him with complaints and problems! They are ususally his fault and therefore you are not speaking to him anyway.

11)- Make him comfortable! Encourage him to lay back in his chair-- or even in bed. Serve him a nice, soothing "cocktail" laced with Sominex. Once he is asleep, tune the TV to the Lifetime Network and then pry open the remote control with your manicure scissors and remove the computer chip from it.

12)-- Arrange his pillows (allowing the fuller and more comfortable ones on your side of the bed) and take his shoes--- Immediately throw them away.

13)- Never ask him questions about his activities or his plans. You don't really give a damn anyway and not knowing always allows you the excuse that you just didn't know what he had planned when you did what you wanted to do to begin with.

14)- A good wife always knows her place. Which is a large, comfortably equipped house in a community property state, as the primary owner off all joint accounts and single owner of a few of her own too. She also belongs in an upscale department store or boutique... Actually-- a woman's place is wherever she decides it is...

theebmonique · Post by **theebmonique** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 12:30 am

Well, I think I may have been wrong about French women (and I may have just peed a little...from laughing !)

Susan · Post by **Susan** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:08 am

Audrey, I like the way you think! That was too funny! I'd love to get your take on this book now, a friend followed the advice and gained 4 pounds!

Harry · Post by **Harry** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 10:06 am

"11 ... Once he is asleep, tune the TV to the Lifetime Network and then pry open the remote control with your manicure scissors and remove the computer chip from it.

Destroy the remote control? Now that's going too far, Auds.

Oh, the humanity!!!

Nancie · Post by **Nancie** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 11:15 am

Very clever and too funny!

Constantine · Post by **Constantine** » Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:54 pm

doug65oh @ Thu Mar 03, 2005 6:58 pm wrote:Didn't Leave It To Beaver start airing within a year or two of that article?? It sure reminds me alot of June Cleaver!:lol:

Are you aware that June Cleaver (Barbara Billingsley) eventually became the jive lady of Airplane?

snokkums · Post by **snokkums** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 9:37 am

Sounds like my mom doing for my dad. He works her silly -- the lazy scumb bag

Liz Crouthers · Post by **Liz Crouthers** » Tue May 03, 2005 3:37 pm

Well at least he is right about something...........

I did reach for a hatchet

Liz Crouthers · Post by **Liz Crouthers** » Tue May 03, 2005 3:53 pm

Is't Audrey funny and smart

I just want you to know that what my mom does