Don't mess with old ladies!

[Stefani]

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don't Mess With Old Ladies

[doug65oh]

That's priceless! A classic for sure!

[theebmonique]

OMG ! Too funny ! (But, I am going to write in down...in case I get pulled over !)


Tracy...

[Edisto]

This story isn't nearly as funny as Stef's (good one!), but it did really happen to me some years ago. I drove a convertible then, and I would work on my suntan by wearing a bikini for longer trips. I'd keep an easy-to-slip-on dress on the seat beside me, so that I could don it quickly if I needed to gas up or use the facilities. I was late for a lunch date in North Carolina and was breezing down Route 85, keeping pace with the rest of the cars on the road, or so I thought. Suddenly I ran smack-dab into a speed trap. Several highway patrolmen were parked on the shoulder and were outside their vehicles, motioning for cars to pull over. Apparently all of us were going at least 80 mph, and the speed limit then was 65. I obediently pulled over and stopped, waiting for an officer to approach my car. It was then that I realized I wasn't decently dressed. I hastily grabbed my coverup and began pulling it over my head. As the very young partrolman reached the car, I found myself enveloped in fabric, peering up at him through the dress's neck-hole. I could tell by the shocked look on his face that he thought I was TAKING OFF the dress and was maybe preparing to offer him a bribe! Yes, I got a ticket anyway...

[doug65oh]

I dunno Edisto...offhand I'd say your true story is just as good as Stef's joke, hehe. I can almost see the young patrolman (:shock:) ...just about ready to drop his teeth!

[Liz Crouthers]

My preacher told that one Sunday but It's still funny.

[Susan]

Good one, Stefani! Very clever, I have to send that one to my mom.

Edisto, your experience is pretty darn good too! Oh my, had that been me, I'm sure my face would have been 10 shades of red!