Church Lady

Tina-Kate · Post by **Tina-Kate** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 1:18 pm

I was venting to Kat earlier about the Hell Week I've had here at the church. It's probably pretty funny if you're not smack dab in the midst of it. Kat said I should do a TV series called, "Church Lady" & suggested I share it on the forum...

There's a turkey dinner going on this Saturday (tomorrow)...

On Tues afternoon, one of the Ladies's Card Group ladies somehow smashed one of the toilet tanks (it's in about 4 pieces). We don't know if she fell on it or what. Water everywhere...it went straight down thru the floor onto the stoves in the kitchen(!) which of course, were needed for cooking. So, those had to be dried out.

The men are doing the dinner...whenever the men cook, the place gets filled with smoke (no matter how many times you tell them to be careful)...this sets off the fire alarm. Our alarm system is with an inept company 100's of miles away...won't go into that, but it requires several phonecalls with idiots before one can sort it out. So, this was yesterday afternoon.

The cable company also came to set us up for cable internet yesterday afternoon (after over 2 months of messing us around). The doofuses somehow cut our phone lines in the process & we were totally incommunicado for over 2 hours. The place full of people, alarms going off, the custodian on his cell phone trying to sort everything out. Thank God the custodian has a cell phone!

All this combined with people wanting dinner tickets & the regular Christmas season insanity...not to mention trying to get my usual work done.

To top it all off (this was after writing to Kat). We have these madmen down in the kitchen & the GOVERNMENT KITCHEN INSPECTOR showed up!

Thank God it was not a few hours earlier, as aparently one of the men couldn't find the cutting boards & he grabbed a hunk of wood from the custodian's room & used it to cut the turnips...

Egads. I am OUT OF HERE!

Thank God it's Friday!

JoAnne · Post by **JoAnne** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:36 pm

Tina-Kate,
I was laughing while reading this. I can picture this on tv. It sounds like an episode from one of those british humor shows like "Keeping up Appearances" with Mrs. Bucket(Bouquet).

Keep the Faith!

Tina-Kate · Post by **Tina-Kate** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:39 am

Amazing---We actually had an excellent report re the kitchen inspection.

They look out for advertised church meals & turn up on queue.

This has been going on the past few years---cracking down on church suppers & farmer's markets with health code stuff.

Shamefully enough, it is restaurants & grocery stores that have lobbied for this---they don't like the competition. We are under very strict rules now re the church kitchen.

Shelley · Post by **Shelley** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:15 am

Hi Tina- so you are also a church lady? I am a parish administrator at the university in Rhode Island, and altar guild director for the state. I think you and I could publish a book on all we see in church life- not to mention the ministers and priests!! I would have to change the names to protect the guilty.

Tina-Kate · Post by **Tina-Kate** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:41 am

Shelley @ Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:15 am wrote:...I think you and I could publish a book on all we see in church life- not to mention the ministers and priests!! I would have to change the names to protect the guilty.

Whoooo-boy. This is exactly my concern. I have plenty of material, believe you me. I sometimes wonder if people would recognize themselves or admit the truth...

I grew up here, so was never under any illusions that people around the church aren't also human. Still, some things just blow your mind all the same.

Shelley · Post by **Shelley** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:49 am

What is the denomination of your church? Mine is Episcopalian, and the chaplain for the campus is my boss lady. Now the Episcopal church has lady priests! I just left my church in Newport after a red-hot scandal with the priest there. Reminds me of that series by Susan Howach, "Glittering Images" about saucy doings under the steeple! Whodda thunk it?

Tina-Kate · Post by **Tina-Kate** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:57 am

I work for the United Church of Canada. We were established in the 1920s in response to dwindling congregations. (The population of Canada is far less than the US). It's a hybrid combination of Congregationist, Methodist & Presbyterian.

I started here in the midst of the church trying to oust the Minister. LONG story. We've had an interim minister for just over a year now & he is a total sweetheart & he takes no guff. Unfortunately he's retired & we can't keep him. The folks here are taking time on hiring a new person, which is yet another story. The church has female ministers as well.

Bobbypoz · Post by **Bobbypoz** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 1:47 pm

LOL I am sitting here in the middle of our church office laughing at your notes thinking to myself "WOW they really are in the thick of it." Then I realize that I am hearing the electric saw going as they are installing a new door to our offices. We have had two break-ins with-in the past week. We couldn't figure out WHAT was going on for nothing appeared to be missing. We then checked the history on MY Boss Lady's computer and found out that someone was breaking in and using her computer looking at porn sites....EEEEEEEAAAAAUUUUU!
Anyways some of us church ladies are church guys!
We are tri-denominational here. MCC, UCC, and DOC

Blessings!

~Bob

Shelley · Post by **Shelley** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 1:51 pm

Love it! I am still wondering how it is that I get so much porn spam on MY church computer! Hey, I think we need to have a church worker Lizzie Union or something. Maybe a blog? We would all have to have undercover identities though.
This is my church:

http://www.staugustineuri.com/

Tina-Kate · Post by **Tina-Kate** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:19 pm

We have parental controls on the computers. It can be a pain, however, when trying to get on sites. Sometimes even a mention of a word like "horoscope" will block me out.

Shelley...Egads...just how many viagra clone spams with porno subject lines do I have to view each week? Unreal.

We have hired someone to re-do our website. The current one is a disgrace, so I will refrain from posting it here.

Here is a picture of the church tho...

Shelley · Post by **Shelley** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:53 pm

Fortunately my daughter is a graphic designer so she did the website for me, and I just manage it and the church blog which I do through wordpress- my favorite blog resource. The blog has been very successful and easy to do a daily update during Advent.

kfactor · Post by **kfactor** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:08 pm

Slightly off-topic, but church-related: has anyone seen the episode of that fabulous Brit-com "The Vicar of Dibley" where Vicar Geraldine gets herself invited to 4 Christmas lunches in one day??? I just saw it last week and literally laughed out loud throughout...

Perhaps this is a good program for the church folks to watch when things get seemingly out of hand on the job...

Shelley · Post by **Shelley** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:56 pm

Oh I love that show and Dawn French. Yes, that episode where she has to consume 4 huge Christmas dinners in order not to offend any of her parishioners is hysterical. I also work for a Lady Vicar and we have many laughs after hours like Alice and the Vicar of Dibley!

mbhenty · Post by **mbhenty** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:06 pm

Yes SHELLEY?

Pertaining to one of your blogs, which I read on a constant basis.

I have a short question....... Civil War casualty? What Newspaper did you find that in. Are we aware that the A. J Borden building was built in 1889?

Shelley · Post by **Shelley** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:13 pm

Yes, I see that is misleading and have changed that wording to be clearer. It was the building where Andrew and William Almy had their business, not the brick one built on the corner of Anawan and South Main. It was Len who told me about it, and I will have to dig up the name of the soldier, who apparently was of a well-known family and somewhat of a hero. I gather it was the front show window where furniture would have been displayed which was configured with a bier and bunting to make a viewing tableau.

Shelley · Post by **Shelley** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:26 pm

I think the address was 5,7, and 9 Anawan which is the store they bought (Almy and Andrew) in 1844.
The soldiers' names were Capt. Thomas J. McFarland of Company F 58th Massachusetts regiment and Liet. Jesse Bullock, Co. D 7th Mass. regiment.
(Daily Evening News March 1, 1866.)

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Fri Feb 01, 2008 3:22 am

Yes I see that in Leonard Rebello, Lizzie Borden Past & Present, Al-Zach Press, 1999 page 52.

Tina-Kate · Post by **Tina-Kate** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:52 pm

OK---Just have to share this---

Winner---"Phone Call of the Day":

Me: "Good afternoon, St James Church"

Male Caller: "Yes, I'd like to speak to Tracie, she's one of the nurses there."

Me: "Sorry sir, you have the wrong number. This is St James Church."

Male Caller: "Do you know the number I'm supposed to call?"

Me: "I'm sorry, all I know is this is St James Church."

Male Caller: "OK. Forget it, then."

CLICK.

True story...about 10 mins ago. I guess I'll have to bone up on my psychic skills!

Shelley · Post by **Shelley** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:56 pm

Oh, Good One! I had a call today from an excited lady. I was out of the office but she left this message:

"Hello- is this St. Augustine's? Is anyone there? Hello? I have fabulous things to give you. Yes, I should sell all of this but I want to give them to a church. Call me."

I can't WAIT to see what treasures might be in store. A fifty pound box of cash? More likely an old sofa smelling of cat whizz. We should write a book Tina-K!

Tina-Kate · Post by **Tina-Kate** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 2:01 pm

I hope she left a number!

Tina-Kate · Post by **Tina-Kate** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:16 pm

I brought my camera today to take some pictures for the website. Unfortunately, my hands seem shaky today for some reason & everything came out slightly out of focus.

Anyway---thought I would share some pix here so it wasn't a total waste of time.

These show the original church hall (1908) with its lovely Titanic era chandelier...

The original 1908 stained glass:

Tina-Kate · Post by **Tina-Kate** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:17 pm

Some of the beautiful stained glass in the current Sanctuary (1917):

Tina-Kate · Post by **Tina-Kate** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:18 pm

Here's a pic of the Catholic manse across the street. Beautiful craftsman circa 1910. I covet it daily...

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:46 am

WOW!!!
Aren't you lucky to work around such a beautiful setting!
Thanks for the pictures TK!

PS: When my hands get shaky it's usually *dehydration* (which causes muscle weakness) and drinking lots of water can clear that up a lot, in no time!