Cyril Ritchard (accompanied by Stuart Ross at the piano)
Taken from the 10inch record "Odd songs and a poem"
-Dolphin Records 1954
(can you spot Lizzie on the cover? sorry for the rubbish pic, i'll scan it soon)
LIZZIE BORDEN by Michael Brown
One hot day in old Fall River Mr Andrew Borden Died
And they booked his daughter Lizzie on a charge of homicide
Some folks say she didn’t do it, others say of course she did
But they all agree Mrs Lizzie B was quite a problem kid
Cos yer can’t chop yer Papa up in Massachusetts
Not even if it’s planned as a surprise
No you can’t chop yer Papa up in Massachusetts
You know how neighbours love to criticise
Now she got him on the sofa, where he’d gone to take a snooze
And I hope he went to heaven cos he wasn’t wearing shoes
Lizzie kind of re-arranged him, with a hatchet so they say
And then she got her Mother in that same old fashioned way
But yer can’t chop yer Mama up in Massachusetts
Not even if you’re tired of her cuisine
No yer can’t chop yer Mama up in Massachusetts
If you do you know there’s bound to be a scene
Oh they really kept her hopping on that August afternoon
With both down and upstairs chopping while she hummed a ragtime tune
And her Ma when Lizzie whacked her looked an awful lot like pa
Like somebody in a tractor had been backing over Ma
But yer can’t chop yer Papa up in Massachusetts
And then blame all the damage on the mice
No yer can’t chop yer Mama up in Massachusetts
That Kinda thing just isn’t very nice
Now it wasn’t done for pleasure and it wasn’t done for spite
And it wasn’t done because the lady wasn’t very bright
She had always done the slightest thing that Mum and Papa bid
They said “Lizzie cut it out” and that’s exactly what she did
But yer can’t chop yer Papa up in Massachusetts
And then get dressed to go out for a walk
No yer can’t chop yer Papa up in Massachusetts
It’s a far cry to New York
A far cry to New York---Yippee!
NB: the line “Like somebody in a tractor had been bracken over Ma” it sounds like he is singing the word “Bracken” not sure what this word means? But he could be saying something else, anybody heard this recording and know the answer please let us know.
(Thanks to Kat, she has told me that he sings Backing over Ma-should have known
)Alma Cogan (1934-1966) British female singer, recorded the song “Lizzie Borden” (in my opinion it’s the best version) but she leaves out the third verse, when reading the lines you can understand why. Also the film “New Faces” from the Broadway show “New Faces of 1952” featured a pretty good version, although one of my favourite singers “Eartha Kitt” did not appear in the sequence
And thank you for sharing the lyrics.
) I got it as a last minute pressie from my friends record collection (he said it deserved to be with me because i'm such a Lizzie fanatic!) he also made me a card, with the guy from the record cover and the tiny Lizzie figure on the front, when you opened the card it said "Don't get Borden your birthday" which I thought was real funny-cheers Aaron
)
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(can we all be in the chorus waving our Hatchets 
)
